Victoria
2. An Approved Topic: Religion is an important part of the lives of the people of Waknuk, but it is abused and manipulated in very unreligious ways.
Thesis: In The Chrysalids, despite the importance of religion, its morals and lessons are not put into daily practice. good thesis, but wording is off, try: In The Chrysalids, despite the importance of religion, its morals and lessons are not put into daily practice.
Intro:
Even in modern society today, many people abuse and manipulate religion in many ways. In the Chrysalids, despite the importance of religion, its morals and lessons are not put into daily practice. The Waknuk people believe that religion is an important part of their lives, but they do not put the true element of "religion" in their lives. Many of the Waknuk people live by God's true image but in the end, God's "true image" is not perceived in the correct matter. However, throughout the novel, many aspects and different areas of religion come into the story which depicts the issues of today's society that some people have conceived the wrong impression on religion itself. (The intro is good but try not to mention the novel in the beginning of your intro :) true say:) :) :P
How is this a funnel paragraph if your thesis is 1st?
Body:
1st Main Idea: As much as the people of Waknuk believe in God, the way they believe in it & what they learn does not reflect anything in their daily lives.
2nd Main Idea: Even though there are many religions in the world, in the end, most religions have the same moral : loving one another, and kindness & appreciating everything you have. Although the people of Waknuk believe in God, what they think and there definition of religion is completely different.
3rd Main Idea: In the story, David and Uncle Axel are the only people who do not believe in the "norm" and question the definition of Man. In the story Religion is shown in a negative manner whereas in today's society, that is not the case.
The way one perceives religion is mainly based on the specific person and how close they feel towards their God. As much as the people of Waknuk believe in God, the way they worship and what they learn out of it, does not reflect anything in their daily lives. Every child and adult of the Waknuk people know all the commandments and precepts of their religion. The way they understood their religion is strict memorization of rules. An example of where religion is abused and manipulated in unreligious ways is found in The Chyrsalids, there is a quote that states: "The commandments and precepts one learns as a child can be remembered by rote, but they mean little until there is example-and even then, the example needs to be recognized"- Chapter 1, Page 10. This quote means even childern memorize commandments that were not even put into daily use, which gets them brain-washed into believing in such false statments that everyone thinks is true. Although almost all of the Waknuk people know these rules word for word, the true aspect of religion is never presented in the novel. In today's society, religion is viewed as a peaceful, kind and belonging place for anyone. However, in the Chrysalids, this was not the case. The way these people are brought up in a religious way of life has no substantial use in their everyday lives.
In the world, there is hundreds of different religions, but in the end, all religions have the same moral which is loving one's neighbour, appreciating everything one has and accepting personal differences and embracing them. Moreover, being true to oneself and having the respect for each other is also one of the many morals in religions as well. Another example of how religion was manipulated in an unreligious way can be the fact that in the Bible, it has always said to accept everyone's differences and love other who are not as blessed as you are, in personality and physically wise. This accounts to blashphemies in the novel because babies who are deformed at birth are taken away and put to death. In comparison to today's society, religion and the fact that whether one has disablites physically or mentally, accepting one for who they are is important. Whereas, the Chrysalids, this is not the case.
5. First Draft of your Essay
6. Peer Comments Sarah,John,Jordana 7. Good Copy in MLA format Peer Comments:
Person 1 - Introduction Paragraph 1.Does the introduction paragraph grab your attention? Does it anticipates an insightful thesis? 2.How strong is the development of the argument for the whole essay?
Person 2 - Body Paragraphs 1.How well are the quotations integrated and analysed? Have they been chosen with care and taken from a variety of chapters? 2.How strong is the development of the argument for the whole essay?
Person 3 - Concluding Paragraph 1.Does the conclusion include a reworded thesis, summary. 2. Does the conclusion have a memorable ending? 3.How strong is the development of the argument for the whole essay?
2. An Approved Topic: Religion is an important part of the lives of the people of Waknuk, but it is abused and manipulated in very unreligious ways.
Thesis: In The Chrysalids, despite the importance of religion, its morals and lessons are not put into daily practice.
good thesis, but wording is off, try: In The Chrysalids, despite the importance of religion, its morals and lessons are not put into daily practice.
Intro:
Even in modern society today, many people abuse and manipulate religion in many ways. In the Chrysalids, despite the importance of religion, its morals and lessons are not put into daily practice. The Waknuk people believe that religion is an important part of their lives, but they do not put the true element of "religion" in their lives. Many of the Waknuk people live by God's true image but in the end, God's "true image" is not perceived in the correct matter. However, throughout the novel, many aspects and different areas of religion come into the story which depicts the issues of today's society that some people have conceived the wrong impression on religion itself. (The intro is good but try not to mention the novel in the beginning of your intro :) true say:) :) :P
How is this a funnel paragraph if your thesis is 1st?
Body:
1st Main Idea: As much as the people of Waknuk believe in God, the way they believe in it & what they learn does not reflect anything in their daily lives.
2nd Main Idea: Even though there are many religions in the world, in the end, most religions have the same moral : loving one another, and kindness & appreciating everything you have. Although the people of Waknuk believe in God, what they think and there definition of religion is completely different.
3rd Main Idea: In the story, David and Uncle Axel are the only people who do not believe in the "norm" and question the definition of Man. In the story Religion is shown in a negative manner whereas in today's society, that is not the case.
The way one perceives religion is mainly based on the specific person and how close they feel towards their God. As much as the people of Waknuk believe in God, the way they worship and what they learn out of it, does not reflect anything in their daily lives. Every child and adult of the Waknuk people know all the commandments and precepts of their religion. The way they understood their religion is strict memorization of rules. An example of where religion is abused and manipulated in unreligious ways is found in The Chyrsalids, there is a quote that states: "The commandments and precepts one learns as a child can be remembered by rote, but they mean little until there is example-and even then, the example needs to be recognized"- Chapter 1, Page 10. This quote means even childern memorize commandments that were not even put into daily use, which gets them brain-washed into believing in such false statments that everyone thinks is true. Although almost all of the Waknuk people know these rules word for word, the true aspect of religion is never presented in the novel. In today's society, religion is viewed as a peaceful, kind and belonging place for anyone. However, in the Chrysalids, this was not the case. The way these people are brought up in a religious way of life has no substantial use in their everyday lives.
In the world, there is hundreds of different religions, but in the end, all religions have the same moral which is loving one's neighbour, appreciating everything one has and accepting personal differences and embracing them. Moreover, being true to oneself and having the respect for each other is also one of the many morals in religions as well. Another example of how religion was manipulated in an unreligious way can be the fact that in the Bible, it has always said to accept everyone's differences and love other who are not as blessed as you are, in personality and physically wise. This accounts to blashphemies in the novel because babies who are deformed at birth are taken away and put to death. In comparison to today's society, religion and the fact that whether one has disablites physically or mentally, accepting one for who they are is important. Whereas, the Chrysalids, this is not the case.
5. First Draft of your Essay
6. Peer Comments
Sarah, John, Jordana
7. Good Copy in MLA format
Peer Comments:
Person 1 - Introduction Paragraph
1.Does the introduction paragraph grab your attention? Does it anticipates an insightful thesis?
2.How strong is the development of the argument for the whole essay?
Person 2 - Body Paragraphs
1.How well are the quotations integrated and analysed? Have they been chosen with care and taken from a variety of chapters?
2.How strong is the development of the argument for the whole essay?
Person 3 - Concluding Paragraph
1.Does the conclusion include a reworded thesis, summary.
2. Does the conclusion have a memorable ending?
3.How strong is the development of the argument for the whole essay?